I am feeling pessimistic today. In fact I feel as though I have been floating around in a gloom shrouded bubble for the past week or so. There is something about seeing your ex with another woman that just makes you want to kill something….something ex shaped. So I have decided to dedicate this post to getting it all out of my system (and don’t worry I am not planning to rain on your parade. My witty tirade of petty complaints is likely to amuse you.) Here we go.
Thing that is not awesome #1 : “Consructive Critisim”
Personally I believe there is no such thing. Sure I’m probably wrong, but in my opinion I think constructive critism is a sneaky way for all those shy bitches out there to take you down a notch….niiiicely. Well way to go shy bitches whatever works for you. Me, myself, I’m not a shy bitch I’m just a bitch. Kudos to you for finding a constructive outlet for your witchy bitchy ways. Just dont try to tell me nicely that I’ve gained a few (I haven’t), because no matter how you say it it’s still going to sound bad! Not awesome!
Thing that is not awesome #2: When your hair gets stuck in your lip gloss
Thing that is not awesome #3: Seeing your ex on a fat day
Thing that is not awesome #4: Seeing your ex
Thing that is not awesome #5: Men who oil their muscles
Thing that is not awesome #6: People who put the juice jug back in the fridge when there is only a sip left
Thing that is not awesome #7: Finding condoms and handcuffs on your parents’ bedside table
Thing that is not awesome #8: Being called into work on your day off
Thing that is not awesome #9: Absentee babysitters
Thing that is not awesome #10: Movies that are soooo good….until the last 20 minutes happen and it all falls apart
I will go into more detail on why these things are not awesome when I come back (although if you are a normal person an explanation is not necessary) but for now I am tired so I will bid you adieu.
Adieu.
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